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Chapter 6 Understanding Ourselves and Others 6.1 Multiple Choice Questions 1) When we communicate, we are sending two types of messages: the obvious message and the hidden message, which are also known as the _____ and _____ messages. a) content/relational b) intimate/power c) relational/social d) expert/content Answer: a Rationale: The content message is the explicit or obvious message being conveyed in communication, while the relational message is the underlying message about the relationship between the sender and receiver. 2) Pam is the vice president of Welsh Oil. As the vice president, it is assumed that her comments and suggestions are given serious consideration during board meetings. Pam might have all the types of power listed below, but what kind does she have simply because of her position as vice president? a) Legitimate power b) Referent power c) Reward power d) Expert power Answer: a Rationale: Legitimate power is derived from a person's position or status within an organization. As the vice president, Pam has legitimate power because of her position, which gives her authority and influence over others in the organization. 3) Jessica feels trapped in her marriage to a man who makes all of her decisions. For years, Alex has made all of her decisions including how much money she can spend to what clothes to wear. Jessica has low self-esteem and feels like she has no say in her marriage. In regards to this relationship, Jessica feels a) empowerment. b) resentment. c) powerless. d) helpless. Answer: c Rationale: Jessica feels powerless in her marriage because she lacks control over her own decisions and feels constrained by her husband's dominance. 4) When communicating with another person, the obvious message we send is also called the a) relational message. b) interpersonal message. c) spiritual message. d) content message. Answer: d Rationale: The content message is the explicit message being communicated, such as the words spoken or written. 5) Betsy and her daughter, Emily, leaned on each other’s shoulder while watching TV. This shared closeness is obviously not sexual but it is an example of _________ intimacy. a) physical b) spiritual c) intellectual d) emotional Answer: a Rationale: Physical intimacy refers to closeness or touching between individuals, such as leaning on each other's shoulders, that is not sexual in nature but still conveys a sense of connection and closeness. 6) Which stage of relationship development does a traditional wedding ceremony best fit? a) Integrating b) Differentiating c) Circumscribing d) Bonding Answer: d Rationale: The bonding stage in Knapp's Relational Development Model is characterized by public commitment, such as a wedding ceremony, that solidifies the relationship. 7) Greta is very good at her job and her work ethic is impeccable. Her boss Frank criticizes her work regardless of her outstanding record. The other day, Frank told Greta that she needed to come in on Sunday, her day off, so that she could clean off his desk and balance his personal checkbook. He indicated that if she refused, he would fire her. What type of power is best represented by Frank in this interaction? a) Referent b) Legitimate c) Expert d) Coercive Answer: d Rationale: Frank is using coercive power by threatening to fire Greta if she does not comply with his demands. 8) The __________ stage is the first stage in Knapp’s Relational Development Model and is characterized by safe topics and discussion held on the surface level. a) integrating b) terminating c) initiating d) experimenting Answer: c Rationale: The initiating stage is the first stage in Knapp's model, where communication is often characterized by small talk and superficial topics. 9) Erica and Jamie have advanced to the _______ stage in Knapp’s Relational Development Model with their use of endearment terms such as “honey” and “sweetheart.” a) intensifying b) integrating c) initiating d) experimenting Answer: a Rationale: The intensifying stage is characterized by increased intimacy and the use of endearment terms like "honey" and "sweetheart" is indicative of this stage. 10) The conscious decision to share information about ourselves with others is called a) self-disclosure. b) self-depreciation. c) self-deprivation. d) self-discussion. Answer: a Rationale: Self-disclosure is the deliberate sharing of personal information with others, which can help build intimacy and trust in relationships. 11) A square divided into four quadrants that is designed to be a visual presentation of the self is called a) Interpersonal Needs Theory. b) Johari Window. c) Cost-Benefit Theory. d) Self-Analysis Quadrant. Answer: b Rationale: The Johari Window is a model that represents the different aspects of self-awareness and how they are known to oneself and others. It consists of four quadrants: open, blind, hidden, and unknown. 12) The quadrant in the Johari Window that represents a part of ourselves that we keep private and let no one else know is called the a) open quadrant. b) blind quadrant. c) hidden quadrant. d) unknown quadrant. Answer: c Rationale: The hidden quadrant of the Johari Window represents information about ourselves that we know but keep hidden from others. This can include feelings, thoughts, or experiences that we choose not to share. 13) Rather than shy away from social interaction, this type of individual, who feels extremely uncomfortable in group situations, pushes full-speed ahead as means of compensating for their anxiety. a) Oversocial individual b) Ideal individual c) Undersocial individual d) Autocratic individual Answer: a Rationale: An oversocial individual is someone who, despite feeling uncomfortable in social situations, may overcompensate by being overly sociable or seeking out social interactions. 14) According to Schutz, undersocial, oversocial, and ideal individuals all deal with the ________ need. a) control b) affection c) inclusion d) infliction Answer: c Rationale: Schutz's Theory of Interpersonal Needs identifies three fundamental needs in interpersonal relationships: inclusion (the need to be included and involved), control (the need to influence others and situations), and affection (the need to form emotionally close relationships). 15) Edward is a classic “fence sitter”; he waits until others communicate their positions before he shares his. What communication pattern associated with control needs does Edward exhibit? a) Abdicrat b) Autocrat c) Democrat d) Republican Answer: a Rationale: An abdicrat is someone who avoids taking a stand or making decisions, often waiting for others to express their opinions first. This behavior is associated with the need for control. 16) Mark doesn’t know if he should stay with Maggie. She’s really fun, she has a brilliant, analytical mind, and she has a wonderful eye for the artistic. However, she drinks a lot at social functions and loses her temper about trivial matters. The theory that helps determine whether Mark will stay with Maggie or will break their relationship off is called a) Schutz’s Theory of Interpersonal Needs. b) Gibb Pairings. c) Johari Window. d) Cost-Benefit Theory. Answer: d Rationale: The Cost-Benefit Theory suggests that individuals weigh the costs and benefits of a relationship when deciding whether to stay in or leave a relationship. 17) Albert wants to put a fence up for privacy whereas his neighbor, Jeannette, wants to leave the adjoining properties open so the children can run between the houses when they play. Albert and Jeannette have ___________ goals. a) resolution b) incompatible c) compatible d) expressed Answer: b Rationale: Albert and Jeannette have incompatible goals because their desires for the use of the adjoining properties conflict with each other. 18) Passive aggression occurs when a) we appear to be agreeable, but then act in a subtle, covert aggressive manner. b) we refuse to acknowledge that a problem exists. c) we minimize the importance of a problem. d) either we or the other party use status to intimidate. Answer: a Rationale: Passive aggression is a form of behavior in which a person appears to be agreeable or passive on the surface but is actually acting out their aggression in a subtle or indirect manner. 19) When diffusing a conflict, we use _____ when we attempt to understand another person’s position. a) passive aggression b) power c) empathy d) self-disclosure Answer: c Rationale: Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. In conflict resolution, showing empathy can help de-escalate the situation and foster understanding between parties. 20) Mr. Fallon, the principal at the middle school where Theresa supervises the remedial reading program, has decided to cut the program’s funding. Theresa feels intimidated by Mr. Fallon, mostly because of his recent announcement that this decision is final and there will be no further discussion about this matter. Mr. Fallon used _______ to prevent any type of conflict resolution with Theresa. a) denial b) status c) aggression d) suppression Answer: b Rationale: Mr. Fallon used his status as the principal to assert his decision and prevent further discussion or negotiation, thus using his power to intimidate Theresa. 6.2 Short Answer Questions 1) ________ is healthy. Sometimes, we just want to “talk” about an issue and not have anyone respond immediately. We just want to let out our feelings. Answer: Self-disclosure 2) From what is legitimate power derived from? Answer: Legitimate power is derived from a position of authority. People with legitimate power have been given the responsibility to assert influence over others, usually by election or appointment. 3) ____________ power is defined as the “potential for changing attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors of others.” Answer: Social 4) The __________ theory suggests that people choose to maintain or exit relationships based on the rewards they receive within those relationships. Answer: cost-benefit (cost-reward and exchange are also acceptable answers) 5) According to Mark Knapp, a relationship is in the ________ stage of relationship development once two people decide to break up. Answer: terminating 6) Identify the four quadrants of the Johari window. Answer: 1. Open 2. Blind 3. Hidden 4. Unknown 7) Identify the four types of intimacy we can experience in our society. Answer: physical intimacy, emotional intimacy, intellectual intimacy, and spiritual intimacy 8) William Schutz developed a theory stating that everyone has three basic types of need in their interpersonal relationships. Identify these three needs. Answer: Inclusion, affection, control 9) ________ is an expressed struggle between two or more interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce rewards, and interference from other parties in achieving their goals. Answer: Conflict 10) Identify the five problems that one is faced with when dealing with conflicting situations. Answer: 1. Status 2. Aggression 3. Passive aggression 4. Denial 5. Suppression 6.3 True/False Questions 1) Interpersonal communication is an informal exchange and can occur between two people through dyadic communication as well as more than two people in small-group communication. Answer: True Rationale: Interpersonal communication refers to communication between two or more people and can occur in various contexts, including dyadic (between two people) and small-group communication settings. 2) Social power is the “potential for changing attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors of others.” Answer: True Rationale: Social power refers to the ability to influence others' attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors. It is the potential to exert control or influence over others. 3) Yvonne is completing an internship at a public relations firm where Sharon is her boss. Yvonne’s perception of Sharon’s abilities is overwhelmingly positive. As their relationship grows, Yvonne finds that she wants to be like Sharon, and Sharon encourages Yvonne to choose a career in public relations. Sharon is exerting coercive power over Yvonne. Answer: False Rationale: Coercive power involves the use of threats or punishment to influence behavior. In this scenario, Sharon's actions do not involve coercion but rather influence and encouragement. 4) Bonding and terminating are two stages in Knapp’s Relational Development Model that usually immediately follow each other. Answer: False Rationale: Bonding and terminating are stages in Knapp's Relational Development Model, but they do not immediately follow each other. Bonding is a stage of deepening commitment and connection, while terminating is the ending of a relationship. 5) The content message is usually sent nonverbally through tone of voice, body language, or use of space whereas the relational message is the obvious message. Answer: False Rationale: The content message is the literal or explicit message being communicated, while the relational message is the message about the relationship itself. Both can be communicated verbally and nonverbally. 6) When self-disclosing to another, we look for someone whom we believe will be both a good listener and responsive to our needs. Answer: True Rationale: Self-disclosure involves revealing personal information about oneself to another person. We are more likely to disclose to someone whom we perceive as a good listener and who will respond supportively. 7) According to Mark Knapp, creator of the stages of relationship development, the terminating stage is inevitable, as all relationships eventually come to an end. Answer: False Rationale: While all relationships do eventually come to an end, the terminating stage is not inevitable in every relationship. Some relationships may continue indefinitely without reaching the terminating stage. 8) Inclusion needs, according to Schutz, deal with our desire to be part of a group and lead to a division of people into three categories: underdeveloped individuals, overdeveloped individuals, and developed individuals. Answer: False Rationale: In Schutz's theory, inclusion needs relate to the desire to establish and maintain social connections. It does not lead to a division of people into the categories described. 9) Three years ago, Mindy broke her neighbor’s window with a baseball. Although this was an accident, Mindy has not admitted her mistake. Mindy’s hidden quadrant would be the most predominant section in her Johari Window. Answer: True Rationale: The hidden quadrant in the Johari Window represents aspects of oneself that are known to oneself but not to others. Mindy's failure to disclose her mistake would place it in her hidden quadrant. 10) On the day he was born, neither baby Ludwig nor his parents knew that he would be a musical protégé in the future. On that day, the unknown quadrant dominated Ludwig’s Johari Window. Answer: True Rationale: The unknown quadrant in the Johari Window represents aspects of oneself that are unknown to both oneself and others. Baby Ludwig's future musical talent would fall into this category on the day of his birth. 11) Because he was uncertain about whether he should continue or exit the relationship, Evan made an inventory of all the things he liked and disliked about his partner Rudy. This technique of analyzing relationships is called Schutz’s Theory of Interpersonal Needs. Answer: False Rationale: Schutz's Theory of Interpersonal Needs does not involve making an inventory of likes and dislikes about a partner. Instead, it focuses on three interpersonal needs: inclusion, control, and affection. 12) Martina’s yelling makes Eric uncomfortable when there is a disagreement between the two. Although he has tried to discuss her style of communication and how he feels about it, Martina claims it is perfectly acceptable behavior. Martina is demonstrating the factor that generally contributes to conflict known as denial. Answer: True Rationale: Denial, in the context of conflict, occurs when one party refuses to acknowledge or address an issue, often dismissing the other party's concerns or feelings. Martina's refusal to acknowledge Eric's discomfort with her yelling is an example of denial. 13) Pat avoided the pitfall of getting too personal while talking to her co-worker about her decision to quit without giving two weeks’ notice even though her coworker’s decision was going to negatively affect Pat. Pat used the skill of keeping the discussion focused on the problem in order to avoid conflict in this situation. Answer: True Rationale: Keeping the discussion focused on the problem, rather than getting too personal, is a conflict resolution strategy aimed at maintaining a constructive and respectful dialogue. 14) Randy makes more money than his wife Sandy. During disagreements, Randy uses money as a weapon in order to win the fight. Randy is using status to control Sandy. Answer: True Rationale: Using money as a weapon in disagreements can be a form of using status to control others. Randy's actions suggest that he is using his higher income as a way to exert power and control over Sandy during conflicts. 15) Pete just recovered from the flu but held some animosity toward his wife Janet because she didn’t stay home from work to take care of him. Now, fighting the flu herself, Janet asked Pete to pick up her prescription from the pharmacy. Pete promised he would but when an old buddy dropped by the house, Pete “forgot” his promise and instead invited his friend out for breakfast. This is considered passive aggression. Answer: True Rationale: Passive aggression involves expressing hostility or resentment in an indirect or covert manner. Pete's "forgetting" his promise to pick up Janet's prescription, especially in favor of socializing with a friend, can be seen as a passive-aggressive behavior. 6.4 Matching Questions For the questions that follow, match the word or phrase with its meaning. a) Marty begins Karate classes and Cindy starts Pilates at separate gyms. b) Marty discloses that he loves Cindy. The two now consider themselves a couple. c) Cindy takes Marty home to meet her parents. d) Marty and Cindy file for divorce. e) Marty cancels their planned trip together and Cindy wants to know why. Marty doesn’t want to talk about it so he says he’s just over loaded at work. f) Marty and Cindy get married in front of their close friends and family. g) Marty and Cindy are at a dance club but have not met each other yet. h) After being introduced to Cindy, Marty talks about safe topics such as sports and the weather. i) After ten dates, Marty and Cindy’s exchanges have not progressed past the “small talk” stage. j) Marty and Cindy realize it’s too difficult and uncomfortable to be together so they spend little time together. k) Tired of each other after ten years of marriage, Marty and Cindy are “going through the motions.” 1) Differentiating 2) Bonding 3) Avoiding 4) Experimenting 5) Initiating 6) Integrating 7) Intensifying 8) Stagnating 9) Circumscribing 10) Terminating Answers: 1) k 2) f 3) j 4) i 5) h 6) c 7) b 8) e 9) a 10) d 6.5 Essay Questions 1) Define intimacy. List the four types of intimacy and give an example for each. Answer: Intimacy is characterized by a sense of closeness and trust we share with another. Physical intimacy is sharing physical closeness with another. For example, a mother shares physical intimacy with a child whom she hugs and kisses often. Emotional intimacy is created through self-disclosure. For example, two friends grow closer as they share their feelings about going away to college in the fall. Intellectual intimacy is shared when abstract concepts or other intellectually challenging ideas are discussed. For example, two scientists enjoy discussing the concept of “dark matter” together. Spiritual intimacy is the act of sharing their strong faith in God or other higher powers. For example, a couple may find deep satisfaction discussing the meaning of the Apocalypse with each other. 2) Define the different types of social power. Explain why it is important for two people in a relationship to feel empowered. Answer: According to Verderber and Verderber, social power is the “potential for changing attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors of others.” Dunn and Goodnight describe five types of social power. Coercive power is one’s ability to control another person’s behavior through negative reinforcement. Reward power is one’s ability to provide things like money, objects, or love. Legitimate power is one’s position of authority. Expert power is one’s superior knowledge in a particular field. Referent power is one’s feelings of identification with another. It is important for two people in a relationship to feel empowered. When partners are empowered, our self-concept and self-esteem are higher and we feel more confident and secure in the relationship. 3) Mark Knapp and Anita Vangelisti created a model for the development of relationships between close friends and romantic couples. Identify the stages in coming together and the stages in coming apart. Discuss how a relationship might not use every stage in the model. Answer: The stages in coming together are as follows: initiating, experimenting, intensifying, integrating, and bonding. The stages in coming apart are as follows: Differentiating, circumscribing, stagnating, avoiding, and terminating. Some couples reach the bonding stage, in marriage for example, and stay together their entire lives, only terminating the relationship at the death of one or the other. Another example of not following every stage in the model could be if one member of the couple is not sincere about the relationship so they initiate a terminating stage immediately after an intensifying or integrating stage in the relationship; a “one-night-stand” for example. 4) Discuss the skills we can use to deal with conflict in our relationships in order to attempt to reach to some kind of resolution. Answer: The skills we need to incorporate into our attempt to resolve conflicts in our relationships include dealing with our feelings, keeping the discussion focused on the problem, being a sensitive listener, and being flexible. Dealing with our feelings includes some self-examination on our part to help us better understand exactly what it is that is making us angry, hurt, or frustrated. Acknowledging our feelings helps us better communicate. We should also find a special time to meet so we don’t put the significant other on the defensive. Confrontation at the door does not work because it feels like an attack from the other’s perspective. Avoid attacking your significant other by also keeping the discussion focused on the problem when you do meet to discuss the conflict. Talking about personal issues and behaviors as flaws will also make the other person feel defensive. Empathy is also important to avoid putting your significant other on the defensive. Being empathetic means you must be able to look at something from the other person’s perspective in an attempt to understand their position. This helps us gain insight needed to communicate better. Finally, flexibility is important to working through a conflict. A willingness to cooperate demonstrates empathy and the goal to resolve the conflict in a collaborative effort. 5) What is self-disclosure? List two reasons why people choose to self-disclose online. List two risks of self-disclosing too much information on the Internet. Suggest one action we can take to limit the information we share online. Answer: Self-disclosure is the conscious decision to share personal information about ourselves. People choose to self-disclose on-line because it is free and easy to do. Also, social media offers us opportunities to create relationships and communities with people who share things in common. Two risks of selfdisclosing too much online is the false sense of security the Internet provides us. We are less likely to be afraid of an online stranger than a stranger we encounter in person. Another risk includes jeopardizing educational opportunities and future career aspirations by sharing too much information online. Finally, one action we can take is limiting the amount of personal information we disclose online. We can post only positive images and messages that we would not mind our future employers seeing. This action limits the “digital dirt.” Test Bank for Communication: Embracing Difference Daniel M. Dunn, Lisa J. Goodnight 9780205943661, 9780205865635, 9781269602877

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