Chapter 4: Love and Loving Relationships Part I: Multiple Choice Questions Learning Objective 4.1: What do we mean by the term “love”? 1. Rati and Subas, in the opening vignette, show us that: A. they don’t believe in love. B. they prefer “courtly love.” C. an arranged marriage benefits a man, but not a woman. D. Rati must cover her hair when she is in public. E. companionate love can be fulfilling. Answer: E Rationale: Subas and Rati have a companionate love marriage. 2. ______________ is defined as (1) a strong affection for one another arising out of kinship or personal ties; (2) attraction based on sexual desire; and (3) affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests. A. Attachment B. Secure attachment C. Love D. Respect E. Ludus love Answer: C Rationale: This is the definition of love provided in the text. The other answer categories have different meanings. Learning Objective 4.2: How do we first learn to love? 3. Attachment in children: A. teaches children gendered expectations. B. affects how they develop close relationships throughout their lives. C. is primarily practiced in less developed countries. D. was developed during the Industrial Revolution. E. is taught through toys and interactions with peers. Answer: B Rationale: Attachment has long-lasting implications. 4. Our earliest forms of love are: A. sexual. B. attachments to our primary caregiver. C. Storge-type love. D. avoidant. E. unrequited. Answer: B Rationale: Attachments are the earliest forms of love. Learning Objective 4.3: What are the three primary attachment styles? 5. The study of Anna, during the 1930s, showed an example of a/an: A. secure attachment. B. anxious/ambivalent attachment. C. motor attachment. D. avoidant attachment. E. infant-father attachment. Answer: D Rationale: Anna’s mother ignored her emotional and physical needs and Anna had little or no attachment to her mother. 6. About ______________ of children have secure attachments. A. one-quarter B. one-third C. one-half D. two-thirds E. over 90 percent Answer: D Rationale: About two-thirds of children have secure attachments. 7. ______________ attachments reflect children’s confidence in knowing their caregiver would be available when needed, an assurance that comes from the caregiver having been warm, responsive, and consistently available to infants over time. A. Secure B. Anxious/ambivalent C. Motor D. Avoidant E. Infant-father Answer: A Rationale: Secure attachments from warm and responsive caregivers enhance children’s confidence. Learning Objective 4.4: Does our attachment in infancy affect us as adults? 8. Which of the following is TRUE about attachment? A. Attachment theory has been proven false over the past couple of decades. B. Men are less likely than women to be attached, according to attachment theory. C. Our type of attachment as a young child likely affects our type of attachment as an adult, although other factors may matter as well. D. A child who was ignored often as a child and who didn’t have needs met is likely to grow up to worry that a partner doesn’t really love him/her or won’t want to stay with him/her. E. Experiments conducted in France show the inherent racism in attachment theory. Answer: C Rationale: While attachment theory can provide important insights into our marital and family relationships, some researchers question the degree to which we should use research on infant attachments to explain the complexities of adult romantic attachments. 9. “Other people don’t seem to want to get as close as I do, and it scares them away,” says Lucas. This may indicate a/an ______________ attachment. A. secure B. anxious/ambivalent C. motor D. avoidant E. infant-father Answer: B Rationale: Adults with anxious/ambivalent attachment may fear being left alone. 10. Which statement best indicates an avoidant attachment among adults? A. I find it relatively easy to get close to others. B. I am usually comfortable depending on others and having them depend on me. C. I generally don’t worry about being abandoned. D. I often worry that my partner doesn’t really love me or won’t want to stay with me. E. It’s difficult to trust people completely, and I’d rather not become too dependent on them. Answer: E Rationale: Adults with avoidant attachment may hesitate to get close to others. Learning Objective 4.5: Have meanings of love changed over time? 11. Some of the earliest stories of love come from: A. ancient Greek and Roman mythology. B. William Shakespeare. C. writings during colonial America and the Revolutionary War. D. the Middle Ages. E. the Incas. Answer: A Rationale: Venus, the Roman goddess of love, and her son Cupid, along with the Greek goddess Aphrodite and her son Eros, are familiar to us from ancient Greek and Roman mythology. 12. Ancient Greek and Roman mythology and early Christianity did not equate love with: A. happiness. B. good health. C. marriage. D. sex. E. passion. Answer: C Rationale: People married for practical or economic concerns, or to have children. 13. The “romantic love ideal” developed during the 18th and 19th centuries includes five core beliefs. Which is NOT one of them? A. love at first sight B. there is one “true love” for each person C. love is a struggle D. the beloved is (nearly) perfect E. we should marry for love Answer: C Rationale: Instead of C, love conquers all. Learning Objective 4.6: What is the difference between romance and companionate love? 14. Wow! Marcus and Gwen are in love. It is a passionate, melodramatic, and an exciting experience! What type of love are they likely experiencing? A. arranged love B. companionate love C. Storge love D. romantic love E. early-stage love Answer: D Rationale: This is the definition provided in the text. The other answer categories have different meanings. 15. Which is TRUE with respect to romantic love? A. Most Americans see it as silly. B. It is the staple of fairy tales. C. Men are more interested in romance than are women. D. Long-term couples usually do not experience any romantic love. E. In a good marriage it will last forever. Answer: B Rationale: Fairy tales such as Cinderella, Snow White, and others focus on romantic love. 16. Companionate love is based on: A. the presence of children still living in the home. B. passion and excitement. C. sociobiology. D. the attachment style we experience when we are young. E. strong commitment and trust that the other person will genuinely “be there” for you. Answer: E Rationale: This is the definition provided in the text. 17. Meixiu and Bai Chao have been happily married for over thirty years. Their relationship is based on trust and commitment, and they feel tremendous joy and pride in the family they have raised, and the home they have built. It is likely that they experience: A. arranged love. B. companionate love. C. Agape love. D. romantic love. E. early-stage love. Answer: B Rationale: This is the definition provided in the text. The other answer categories have different meanings. Learning Objective 4.7: What do biological, micro-, and macro-level perspectives teach us about love? 18. When we establish eye contact with, touch, or smell the scent of a person with features we see as desirable, our brain releases a flood of chemicals to the nerves and bloodstream that are natural amphetamines such as dopamine, norepinephrine, and phenylethylamine (PEA) that give us the rush we know as sexual attraction. This is the ______________ perspective. A. biochemical B. historical-biological C. macro-level D. Sternberg’s triangular theory E. Reiss’s wheel theory Answer: A Rationale: This is the definition provided in the text. The other answer categories have different meanings. 19. Sternberg’s triangular theory of love suggests that love has three components: A. biochemical, Eros, and wheel theory B. Storge, Ludus, and Eros C. passion, intimacy, and commitment D. kinship rules, close supervision, and formally free E. Storge, commitment, and kinship rules Answer: C Rationale: Passion encompasses feelings of physical attraction, romance, and sexual arousal. Intimacy encompasses feelings of closeness and bonding. Commitment represents both the short-term decision to love one another and the longer-term commitment to continue that love. 20. Which of the following is TRUE regarding Sternberg’s triangular theory of love? A. All relationships start out at one point, and gradually move around the triangle. B. Ludus encompasses feelings of physical attraction, romance, and sexual arousal, and is the most intense. C. The three points represent different methods of mate selection around the world. D. Various combinations of the three elements breed different kinds of love. E. This theory best explains arranged marriages, as in the case of Rati and Subas in the opening vignette. Answer: D Rationale: Sternberg suggests that various combinations of intimacy, passion, and commitment breed different kinds of love, as shown in Figure 4.2. 21. Casey and Amber have a rational, down-to-earth style of love based on practical considerations. They both had an actual checklist of traits they were looking for in a partner such as their level of education, earnings, and religious or political views. Which style of love does this represent? A. Agape B. liking C. practicality-bonded D. Ludus E. Pragma Answer: E Rationale: One of John Lee’s styles of love includes Pragma, or a practical type. 22. Michael and his partner Matthew have been together for many years. They began as friends, and over time the relationship moved forward in its degree of commitment and intimacy. It is a comfortable love, with mutual trust, compatibility, and respect. Which style of love does this represent? A. Agape B. Eros C. Storge D. Ludus E. Pragma Answer: C Rationale: One of John Lee’s styles of love includes Storge, or a love that develops slowly with the passage of time. A couple may begin as friends, and over time the relationship moves forward in its degree of commitment and intimacy. 23. Reiss’s wheel theory of love examines the various stages in which love develops. He describes four stages of love. Which is NOT one of them? A. biochemical processes B. building rapport C. self-revelation D. mutual dependency E. personality need fulfilment Answer: A Rationale: Reiss does not address biochemical issues. 24. Which represents a macro-level perspective on love? A. Sternberg’s triangular theory of love B. Reiss’s wheel theory of love C. controlling the development of love D. John Lee’s styles of love E. Agape Answer: C Rationale: All represent micro-level perspectives except answer C. Learning Objective 4.8: Are women more interested in love than men? 25. Which of the following is TRUE regarding sex differences in love? A. There are no sex differences, according to the latest research. B. Men are more likely than women to be looking for a partner and they fall in love sooner. C. White women are more likely than White men to be looking for a partner, but in other racial and ethnic groups the trend is reversed. D. Young women under age 25 are more likely than men to be looking for a partner and they fall in love sooner, but the trend is reversed among those who are older. E. Our cultural rhetoric claims that men fall in love more easily than women. Answer: B Rationale: Men tend to be more focused on love than are women. 26. Men: A. are less likely than women today to fall in love for reasons related to physical attractiveness. B. are more likely to have a Pragma style of loving whereas women likely lean towards an Eros style. C. have difficulty expressing love. D. are more likely to have a Mania style of love, whereas women likely lean towards a Ludus style. E. may not get credit for their expressions of love. Answer: E Rationale: The feminization of love highlights that men often do not get credit for expressing love because women ignore or minimize masculine-type expressions. Learning Objective 4.9: What is the importance of same-sex love? 27. Definitions of love, the importance of attachment, theoretical perspectives, and the experiences of love are generally ______________ for same-sex couples as compared to heterosexual couples. A. the same B. somewhat more important C. somewhat less important D. extremely different E. irrelevant Answer: A Rationale: They are generally the same. Most gays, lesbians, and straight people want to be emotionally close to someone, share romance and companionship, and have a deep trusting relationship. Learning Objective 4.10: What is unrequited love? 28. Anh and Thu had been a couple for nearly a year before Anh decided that she no longer was in love with him. She broke up with Thu. This is an example of: A. stalking. B. unrequited love. C. Storge. D. Mania. E. the feminization of love. Answer: B Rationale: Unrequited love occurs when one person’s feelings are not reciprocated by the other. 29. Thomas had a crush on Bobby, but the feelings were not reciprocated. This is an example of: A. irrational jealousy. B. prejudice against gays. C. unrequited love. D. Mania. E. the feminization of love. Answer: C Rationale: Unrequited love occurs when one person’s feelings are not reciprocated by the other. Learning Objective 4.11: Is jealousy always irrational? 30. Charlene was devastated when she found that her husband had an affair with a colleague at work. She felt threatened by the loss of an important relationship. This is an example of: A. stalking. B. unrequited love. C. rational jealousy. D. open-ended partnerships. E. wheel theory. Answer: C Rationale: Rational jealousy is based on some real rival threat. 31. Irrational jealousy: A. occurs more with women than with men. B. occurs more in same-sex relationships than in heterosexual ones. C. usually strengthens relationships over time. D. can come about from our own insecurities about our relationships and ourselves. E. is based on some real rival threat. Answer: D Rationale: Irrational jealousy is based on a perceived threat that is not real. Learning Objective4.12: What is stalking and how serious is this problem? 32. According to the U.S. Department of Justice, activities such as (1) making unwanted telephone calls; (2) sending unsolicited or unwanted letters or e-mails; (3) following or spying on the victim; (4) showing up at places without a legitimate reason; (5) waiting at places for the victim; (6) leaving unwanted items, presents, or flowers; and (7) posting information or spreading rumours about the victim on the Internet, in a public place, or by word of mouth are examples of: A. irrational jealousy. B. stalking. C. rational jealousy. D. Agape. E. close-ended partnerships. Answer: B Rationale: Stalking is conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to be fearful. The U.S. Department of Justice identifies seven types of stalking behaviours. 33. Stalking: A. is against the law in 36 states. B. affects about 1 million adults each year. C. victims are about 98 percent female. D. perpetrators are about 95 percent men. E. most commonly includes unwanted phone calls and messages. Answer: E Rationale: Only answer E is correct; the most common form of stalking includes unwanted phone calls and messages. Learning Objective 4.13: Why are breakups so difficult? 34. Benito and Clarissa broke off their relationship recently for reasons that you would identify as micro-level factors. Which is NOT a micro-level factor? A. The high unemployment in their community prevented Benito from finding a good job. B. They had difficulty communicating with one another. C. Benito is shy and Clarissa is outgoing, and eventually their personality differences got on their nerves. D. Clarissa’s mother didn’t like Benito and thought he was unambitious. E. Benito met someone new that he liked more. Answer: A Rationale: Breaking up with a partner can be influenced by macro-level and micro-level factors – the economic situation is a macro-level factor. 35. With respect to relationships and breakups: A. adolescents who are involved in romantic relationships have higher self- esteem and lower rates of depression than other adolescents. B. the relationship between adolescent romance and self-esteem may be, at least in part, a selection effect. C. women tend to feel worse after a breakup, and therefore resume dating more quickly than do men. D. almost half of relationships eventually come to an end. E. breakups are most common with Pragma styles of love. Answer: B Rationale: It is possible that adolescents who have problems at school or at home seek out romantic relationships, and therefore are already more likely to be depressed and unhappy. Part II: True – False Questions 1. The main point of the opening vignette is to show that arranged marriages lead to great unhappiness for women. Answer: False 2. Rati and Subas illustrate the importance of romance to the marital relationship. Answer: False 3. Love is a strong affection for one another arising out of kinship or personal ties; attraction based on sexual desire; and affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests. Answer: True 4. An attachment type where infants feel safe when their mothers are out of sight is called secure attachment. Answer: True 5. Anxious/ambivalent attachment is an attachment type where infants show little attachment to their primary parent. Answer: False 6. An attachment type where infants become nervous when their parent leaves the room, and can show rejection when the parent returns, is anxious/ambivalent attachment. Answer: True 7. When infants become nervous when their parent leaves the room and can show rejection when the parent returns, is known as avoidant attachment. Answer: False 8. It is likely that our attachment style as children influences our attachment style as adults. Answer: True 9. Kiesha is a 22-year-old college student who is very clingy with her friends and her boyfriend. She doesn’t like to be alone, and needs to seek their constant approval. She is often afraid that they don’t like her. She may have an anxious/ambivalent attachment. Answer: True 10. Courtly love is a poetic style of the Middle Ages when poets or troubadours would write songs of unrequited love and present them at the court of their aristocratic/royal masters. Answer: True 11. The process beginning in the 19th century in which love became associated with the private work of women in the home, namely, nurturing and caring for family members, is known as the feminization of love. Answer: True 12. To control the development of love, a process began in the 19th century in which love became associated with the private work of women in the home, namely, nurturing and caring for family members. Answer: False 13. Romantic love is a type of love that grows over time, based on strong commitment, friendship, and trust. Answer: False 14. A type of love that is characterized by passion, melodrama, and excitement, and receives a lot of media attention is known as companionate love. Answer: False 15. A wheel theory perspective is an approach that looks at biological and chemical factors to explain love. Answer: False 16. A theory that sees love as having three elements--intimacy, passion, and commitment--is Sternberg’s triangular theory of love. Answer: True 17. According to John Lee, Ludus is a playful, carefree type of love, and Ludus lovers are more about fun and games than about commitment. Answer: True 18. According to John Lee’s typology, Agape and Ludus are more secure types of love, while Mania is more anxious/ambivalent, and Eros and Storge are closest to avoidant. Answer: False 19. Reiss’s wheel theory of love is a developmental theory that shows relationships moving from the establishment of rapport to self-revelation, mutual dependence, and finally, need fulfilment. Answer: True 20. Reiss’s wheel theory of love is a categorization of six types of love that describe how couples are attracted to one another. Answer: False 21. A macro-level perspective on love, suggesting that all societies control or channel love, is to control the development of love. Answer: True 22. Men are more likely than women to be in or looking for committed relationships, and they report falling in love sooner and with more people than do women. Answer: True 23. Part of the reason that women are more obsessed with love than are men is because they tend to focus more on Eros and Ludus types of love, whereas men tend to focus on a Storge type of love. Answer: False 24. For most of history men found women’s same-sex friendships threatening and tried to stop them from forming. Answer: False 25. Duc and Tuyen went out together for a few months, but then Duc decided he wasn’t interested anymore. Tuyen was upset and saddened by his lack of interest because she loved him. This is an example of unrequited love. Answer: True 26. Jake is jealous of any man that his girlfriend, Nina, interacts with because he is afraid, they will have an affair. Nina has never had an affair, nor has any interest in having one. This is an example of rational jealousy. Answer: False 27. Conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to be fearful is stalking. Answer: True 28. About 26 percent of stalking victims reported that some form of cyberstalking or electronic monitoring was used on them. Answer: True 29. Using a survey tracking almost 8,000 seventh- through twelfth-graders for one year, a study found that those who entered into romantic relationships were less likely to be depressed compared to those who did not enter relationships. Answer: False 30. One possible reason for the relationship between depression and romantic relationships among adolescents is a selection effect. Answer: True Part III: Short Answer/Fill in the Blank Questions: 1. The dictionary defines love as ______________ . Answer: (1) a strong affection for one another arising out of kinship or personal ties; (2) attraction based on sexual desire; and (3) affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests. 2. ______________ theory suggests these early attachments infants make with their primary caregiver will have implications for the way they make attachments to others throughout life. Answer: Attachment 3. Children with ______________ attachments feel safe when their caregivers are out of sight. These attachments reflect children’s confidence in knowing their caregivers would be available when needed, an assurance that comes from them having been warm, responsive, and consistently available to infants over time. Answer: secure 4. Candy’s mom was not often warm and responsive to Candy during infancy. This caused Candy to feel stress as an infant. She became nervous when her mother left and then showed rejection of her mother when she returned. This is an example of a/an ______________ attachment. Answer: anxious/ambivalent 5. Attachment in infancy is important because it may influence us (when) ______________ Answer: throughout our lives 6. ______________ , from which the term “courtship” is derived, developed in the Middle Ages and focused on passion, intensity, romance, and idealization. Answer: Courtly love 7. Companionate love is based on ______________ . Answer: strong commitment and trust that the other person will genuinely “be there” for you, no matter what. It grows over time. 8. The study of how biology shapes our social life is called ______________ . Answer: sociobiology 9. List the three components of Sternberg’s triangular theory of love. Answer: passion, intimacy, and commitment 10. According to Sternberg’s triangular theory of love, when the relationship contains all three components, and is all that love can be, it is called ______________ . Answer: consummate love 11. List the six types of love, according to John Lee. Answer: Eros, Storge, Pragma, Ludus, Agape, Mania 12. A playful, carefree type of love in which the lovers are not possessive, and are more interested in fun and games than commitment is called ______________ , according to John Lee. Answer: Ludus 13. What are the four stages in the wheel theory of love, according to Reiss? Answer: rapport, self-revelation, mutual dependence, personality need fulfilment 14. List the five ways that a culture may try to control the development of love. Answer: child marriage, kinship rules, isolation of young people, close supervision, and formally free 15. Who is more interested in love, according to the research, men or women? Answer: men 16. Which group is still not able to freely show affection in public or acknowledge their love out of fear of being ostracized, attacked, or even killed? Answer: same-sex couples 17. Unrequited love refers to ______________ . Answer: one person’s feelings of love that are not reciprocated by the other. 18. Timothy found his girlfriend in bed with another man. He was angry and felt threatened that his relationship was over. This is an example of ______________ jealousy. Answer: rational 19. Provide four examples of different types of stalking. Answer: (1) Making unwanted telephone calls; (2) sending unsolicited or unwanted letters or e-mails; (3) following or spying on the victim; (4) showing up at places without a legitimate reason; (5) waiting at places for the victim; (6) leaving unwanted items, presents, or flowers; and (7) posting information or spreading rumours about the victim on the Internet, in a public place, or by word of mouth; (8) cyberstalking. 20. Briefly provide two reasons that explain the negative consequences of adolescent romance. Answer: 1) Romantic relationships may be causing the problem because of all the emotional work involved. 2) A selection effect may be operating; those people with problems are more likely to get involved in relationships. Part IV: Essay Questions: 1. What are three primary attachment styles? Give an example of each. Answer: Attachment theory proposes that early experiences with caregivers shape individuals' attachment styles, influencing their relationships throughout life. The three primary attachment styles identified by Mary Ainsworth and John Bowlby are: 1. Secure Attachment: • Example: A child with secure attachment feels confident in exploring their environment while knowing they can seek comfort and support from their caregiver. As an adult, someone with a secure attachment style tends to have trusting, emotionally stable relationships based on mutual support and understanding. 2. Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment: • Example: A child with anxious-preoccupied attachment may be overly clingy and anxious about separation from their caregiver. In adulthood, individuals with this attachment style often seek high levels of intimacy and approval from their partners, fearing abandonment and feeling insecure in the relationship. 3. Avoidant Attachment: • Example: A child with avoidant attachment shows little distress upon separation from their caregiver and may actively avoid or ignore the caregiver upon reunion. As adults, individuals with avoidant attachment tend to value independence and may have difficulty with intimacy and emotional closeness in relationships. 2. Debate attachment theory. Discuss its premise and critique. Answer: Premise of Attachment Theory: Attachment theory, developed by John Bowlby and expanded by Mary Ainsworth, posits that early interactions with caregivers form internal working models of relationships. These models influence how individuals perceive and respond to relationships throughout their lives. The theory emphasizes the importance of secure attachments for healthy emotional and social development. Critique of Attachment Theory: 1. Cultural Variability: Attachment theory was initially based on research conducted in Western, middle-class settings. Critics argue that attachment styles and behaviours may vary across cultures and socioeconomic backgrounds, challenging the universality of attachment patterns. 2. Simplicity vs. Complexity: Attachment theory's classification into distinct attachment styles (secure, anxious, avoidant) may oversimplify the complexity of human relationships. Real-life attachments often exhibit fluidity and can change in response to life events and experiences. 3. Gender Bias: Early research focused predominantly on mother-child relationships, potentially neglecting the influence of fathers and other caregivers. Critics argue for a broader examination of attachment figures and their impact on attachment styles. 4. Predictive Validity: While attachment styles predict certain relationship behaviours and outcomes, critics argue about the theory's predictive validity over time and across different life stages. Individuals may develop coping strategies and adaptive behaviours that mitigate early attachment experiences. 5. Alternative Explanations: Some scholars propose alternative theories or complementary frameworks (e.g., social learning theory, interpersonal theory) that incorporate broader social and environmental factors influencing relationship development. Conclusion: Attachment theory has significantly shaped our understanding of human relationships and emotional development, highlighting the impact of early caregiving experiences. While widely influential, ongoing research and debate continue to refine and expand our understanding of attachment processes, considering diverse cultural contexts and the complexity of individual experiences. 3. Describe Sternberg’s triangular theory of love. Answer: Sternberg's triangular theory of love, proposed by psychologist Robert Sternberg, conceptualizes love as consisting of three components that interact to form various types of relationships: 1. Intimacy: Refers to the emotional closeness, connection, and bond between individuals. It involves feelings of warmth, trust, and affection towards the partner. 2. Passion: Represents the motivational and physiological drives underlying romantic and sexual attraction. Passionate love is characterized by intense longing, desire, and excitement towards the partner. 3. Commitment: Involves the decision to maintain the relationship in the long term, including the intention to work through difficulties and sustain the partnership. According to Sternberg, different combinations of these three components result in different types of love: • Consummate Love: Combines high levels of intimacy, passion, and commitment, representing the ideal form of love characterized by deep emotional connection, intense attraction, and enduring commitment. • Romantic Love: High in intimacy and passion but lacking commitment. Romantic love is passionate and emotionally intimate but may not necessarily involve long-term commitment. • Companionate Love: High in intimacy and commitment but lacking passion. Companionate love is characterized by deep emotional connection and commitment to the relationship, often found in long-term partnerships and friendships. • Fatuous Love: High in passion and commitment but lacking intimacy. Fatuous love is characterized by a whirlwind romance where commitment is made quickly without the development of emotional intimacy. • Empty Love: High in commitment but lacking intimacy and passion. Empty love may occur in relationships where the emotional and physical connection has faded, but commitment remains. • Infatuation: High in passion but lacking intimacy and commitment. Infatuation is marked by intense physical attraction and desire, often without the depth of emotional connection or long-term commitment. Sternberg's triangular theory of love provides a framework for understanding the complex nature of love and relationships, emphasizing the dynamic interplay between intimacy, passion, and commitment in shaping different types and stages of love. 4. Compare and contrast John Lee’s six styles of love. Answer: John Lee proposed six primary styles of love, each representing different ways individuals experience and express romantic feelings and relationships: 1. Eros: • Description: Eros love is passionate, intense, and characterized by physical attraction and desire. It focuses on romantic love, excitement, and sensual pleasure. • Comparison: Similar to Sternberg's concept of passion, Eros emphasizes the physical and emotional intensity of romantic attraction. 2. Ludus: • Description: Ludus love is playful and flirtatious, characterized by a lack of commitment and a desire for fun and excitement. It often involves casual or short-term relationships. • Comparison: Ludus is akin to Sternberg's concept of infatuation, emphasizing enjoyment and novelty in romantic interactions without deep emotional involvement. 3. Storge: • Description: Storge love is based on friendship and companionship, evolving slowly over time. It prioritizes deep emotional connection and shared interests rather than passion. • Comparison: Similar to Sternberg's companionate love, Storge focuses on intimacy and commitment without the intense passion seen in other styles. 4. Pragma: • Description: Pragma love is practical and pragmatic, focusing on compatibility, shared goals, and mutual benefits in a relationship. It often involves rational decision-making. • Comparison: Pragma shares similarities with Sternberg's concept of empty love, emphasizing commitment based on practical considerations rather than emotional or physical attraction. 5. Mania: • Description: Mania love is characterized by emotional intensity, possessiveness, and jealousy. It combines elements of Eros and Ludus but is driven by insecurity and fear of abandonment. • Comparison: Mania can be compared to Sternberg's concept of fatuous love, involving intense passion and commitment but lacking genuine emotional intimacy. 6. Agape: • Description: Agape love is selfless, compassionate, and altruistic. It involves unconditional love, empathy, and concern for the well-being of the partner. • Comparison: Agape aligns with Sternberg's concept of consummate love, combining intimacy, passion, and commitment in a balanced and ideal form of love. Comparison: • Focus on Components: Lee's styles focus on different emotional and behavioral tendencies in love (e.g., passion, practicality), while Sternberg's theory emphasizes the interaction between intimacy, passion, and commitment. • Emotional vs. Behavioral: Lee's styles describe emotional states and behavioral tendencies in love, whereas Sternberg's theory categorizes types of love based on the presence or absence of intimacy, passion, and commitment. Contrast: • Number of Styles: Lee proposes six distinct styles of love, each with unique characteristics, whereas Sternberg categorizes love into fewer types based on combinations of intimacy, passion, and commitment. • Depth of Analysis: Sternberg's theory provides a more detailed examination of the dynamics and interactions between different components of love, offering a comprehensive framework for understanding relationship development. Conclusion: Both Sternberg's triangular theory and John Lee's styles of love offer valuable insights into the complexities of romantic relationships and the diversity of emotional experiences in love. Understanding these frameworks can enhance awareness of individual preferences, relationship dynamics, and the factors contributing to relationship satisfaction and longevity. 5. Describe the premise of the wheel theory of love, according to Reiss. Answer: The wheel theory of love, proposed by sociologist Ira Reiss, conceptualizes love as a dynamic process involving four stages that individuals progress through in developing romantic relationships: 1. Rapport: This initial stage involves building mutual trust, communication, and emotional connection between partners. It focuses on establishing a foundation of friendship and understanding. 2. Self-revelation: In this stage, partners gradually disclose personal information, feelings, and values to each other, deepening their emotional intimacy and building trust. 3. Mutual dependency: Mutual dependency occurs when partners increasingly rely on each other for emotional support, companionship, and fulfilment of needs. This stage signifies the development of a committed and interdependent relationship. 4. Personality need fulfilment: The final stage involves partners satisfying each other's psychological and emotional needs, such as intimacy, security, and companionship. Love in this stage is characterized by mutual understanding, acceptance, and support. Reiss's wheel theory emphasizes that love is a dynamic and evolving process influenced by interpersonal interactions, emotional intimacy, and the fulfilment of psychological needs between partners. It highlights the progressive nature of romantic relationships and the stages individuals typically navigate in forming enduring bonds. 6. Describe how different cultures control the development of love. Which method does the United States use? Answer: Methods of Controlling the Development of Love in Different Cultures: Love and romantic relationships are influenced by cultural norms, values, and traditions, which shape how individuals and societies approach and control the development of love: 1. Arranged Marriages: In many traditional cultures, families play a significant role in arranging marriages based on considerations such as social status, economic stability, and familial alliances. Love may develop after marriage through mutual respect and companionship. 2. Parental Influence: Some cultures emphasize parental approval and involvement in selecting a partner. Parents may guide their children's choices, considering factors like family background, education, and cultural compatibility. 3. Religious Norms: Religious beliefs and practices often influence the development of love and relationships. Some cultures prioritize marriages within the same religious community or encourage courtship rituals aligned with religious teachings. 4. Dating Norms: In Western cultures, including the United States, individuals typically have greater autonomy in choosing romantic partners. Dating allows for personal exploration and emotional connection before committing to a long-term relationship or marriage. Method Used in the United States: The United States primarily utilizes a dating model where individuals have autonomy in selecting romantic partners based on personal preferences, attraction, and compatibility. Relationships often begin with casual dating and progress to more serious commitments based on mutual affection and shared values. While parental input or social influences may play a role, American cultural norms emphasize personal choice, individualism, and romantic love as foundational to relationship development. 7. Evaluate the statement “Men are more interested in love than are women.” Provide the evidence to support or refute that statement. Answer: The statement "Men are more interested in love than are women" is a complex assertion that requires consideration of social, psychological, and cultural factors influencing romantic interests and preferences. Evidence to Support the Statement: 1. Evolutionary Psychology: Some evolutionary psychologists argue that men have a biological predisposition to seek multiple partners to maximize reproductive success, which may suggest a greater interest in love and romantic relationships. 2. Stereotypical Beliefs: Traditional gender stereotypes portray men as more assertive and proactive in pursuing romantic relationships, whereas women are often depicted as more focused on emotional connection and commitment. 3. Research on Relationship Initiation: Studies have shown that men typically initiate romantic relationships more frequently than women, suggesting a greater interest or readiness to engage in romantic pursuits. Evidence to Refute the Statement: 1. Socialization and Cultural Norms: Social and cultural factors heavily influence perceptions and expressions of love. Women may express love differently or prioritize emotional intimacy over outward displays of romantic interest. 2. Attachment Styles: Research indicates that attachment styles and relationship experiences shape individuals' approach to love and intimacy, irrespective of gender. Both men and women value and seek meaningful connections based on their attachment needs. 3. Contemporary Research: Modern research challenges traditional notions of gender differences in romantic interest, suggesting that both men and women exhibit similar levels of desire for love and emotional connection in relationships. Conclusion: The statement that "Men are more interested in love than are women" oversimplifies the complex dynamics of romantic relationships and individual preferences. While historical stereotypes and evolutionary perspectives may suggest gender differences in romantic pursuit, contemporary research emphasizes the diversity of individual experiences and the influence of social context on romantic interests. Both men and women are capable of and interested in forming loving and meaningful relationships, albeit expressed and perceived in diverse ways influenced by personal, cultural, and social factors. 8. Describe and provide an example of the different types of jealousy. How can you deal constructively with jealousy, according to the chapter? Answer: Types of Jealousy: 1. Normal Jealousy: Occurs occasionally in response to a real threat or perceived threat to a valued relationship. It may involve feelings of insecurity, fear of loss, or competitiveness. • Example: Feeling jealous when your partner spends a lot of time with a close friend of the opposite sex. 2. Pathological Jealousy: Excessive and irrational jealousy that may lead to controlling behaviours, mistrust, and emotional distress. It can be detrimental to relationships and mental well-being. • Example: Constantly checking your partner's phone, social media accounts, or whereabouts due to unfounded suspicions. Dealing Constructively with Jealousy: According to the chapter, constructive ways to manage jealousy include: 1. Self-awareness: Recognize and acknowledge your feelings of jealousy without judgment. Understand the triggers and underlying insecurities contributing to these feelings. 2. Communication: Openly discuss feelings of jealousy with your partner in a calm and non-accusatory manner. Share your concerns and listen actively to your partner's perspective. 3. Building Trust: Focus on building trust in the relationship through honesty, reliability, and consistent communication. Reinforce positive interactions and expressions of affection. 4. Personal Growth: Work on improving self-esteem and addressing personal insecurities that contribute to feelings of jealousy. Engage in activities that promote self-confidence and emotional resilience. 5. Professional Help: Seek support from a therapist or counsellor if jealousy becomes overwhelming or begins to negatively impact your well-being or relationships. By addressing jealousy constructively, individuals can nurture healthier relationships based on trust, communication, and mutual respect. 9. Write an essay about stalking. Be sure to include information on the different types of stalking, its frequency, and the consequences. Answer: Stalking is a pattern of behavior directed at a specific individual that causes fear and distress. It involves repeated and unwanted contact, surveillance, harassment, or threats that invade a person's privacy and sense of security. Stalking behaviours can escalate over time and may lead to serious consequences for the victim. Types of Stalking: 1. Intimate Partner Stalking: Occurs when a current or former intimate partner engages in stalking behaviours. It often involves attempts to control the victim, monitor their activities, or intimidate them. 2. Acquaintance Stalking: Involves stalking by someone known to the victim, such as a neighbour, coworker, or acquaintance. It may stem from jealousy, rejection, or obsession. 3. Stranger Stalking: Involves stalking by someone unknown to the victim. It can occur randomly or after a chance encounter, often driven by delusional beliefs or fixation. Frequency of Stalking: Statistics: According to studies, approximately 7.5 million people are stalked in the United States each year. Both men and women can be victims of stalking, although women are more likely to experience it. Online Stalking: With the rise of social media and digital communication, cyberstalking has become increasingly prevalent. It involves using online platforms to harass, monitor, or intimidate the victim. Consequences of Stalking: Psychological Impact: Stalking can cause severe emotional distress, anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in victims. It undermines their sense of safety and autonomy. Physical Harm: In some cases, stalking can escalate to physical violence, assault, or homicide. Victims may experience injuries or fatalities as a result of stalking behaviours. Social and Occupational Disruption: Stalking can disrupt victims' social relationships, work performance, and daily activities. They may alter their routines or locations to avoid the stalker. Legal and Financial Consequences: Victims may incur legal expenses, such as obtaining restraining orders or seeking legal protection. Stalking incidents can also impact employment and financial stability. Conclusion: Stalking is a serious and pervasive form of interpersonal violence that can have profound and lasting effects on victims' lives. Effective prevention and intervention strategies involve raising awareness, providing support services for victims, and implementing legal protections to address stalking behaviours and ensure safety. 10. Using the theories of love presented in the chapter (e.g., Sternberg, Lee, and Reiss), describe the relationship of Subas and Rati in the opening vignette. How does this chapter shed light on their relationship? Answer: In the opening vignette, Subas and Rati's relationship can be analysed through the lenses of Sternberg's triangular theory of love, John Lee's styles of love, and Reiss's wheel theory of love, offering insights into their dynamics and interactions. Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love: According to Sternberg, love consists of three components: intimacy, passion, and commitment, which interact to form different types of love. In the case of Subas and Rati: • Intimacy: Subas and Rati share a deep emotional connection and understanding of each other. They confide in each other about personal matters and support one another through challenges, suggesting a high level of intimacy. • Passion: The opening vignette hints at a passionate aspect to their relationship, as they express physical attraction and romantic desire for each other. Their interactions are marked by excitement and affection. • Commitment: While commitment is not explicitly detailed in the vignette, there are indications that Subas and Rati are invested in their relationship. They spend significant time together and seem emotionally connected, which implies a level of commitment. John Lee's Styles of Love: John Lee categorizes love into six styles, each reflecting different emotional and behavioral tendencies. Subas and Rati's relationship can be characterized by: • Eros: They exhibit a passionate and romantic connection, emphasizing physical attraction and emotional intensity in their interactions. • Storge: There is a foundation of friendship and companionship between Subas and Rati, suggesting a deep emotional bond beyond physical attraction. Reiss's Wheel Theory of Love: Reiss's theory describes love as evolving through stages of rapport, self-revelation, mutual dependency, and personality need fulfilment. Subas and Rati's relationship can be mapped onto these stages: • Rapport: They have established mutual trust and communication, evident in their ability to share personal feelings and experiences with each other. • Self-revelation: Both Subas and Rati disclose personal information and emotions, indicating a growing intimacy and emotional connection. • Mutual dependency: They rely on each other for emotional support and companionship, demonstrating an interdependent relationship where their well-being is intertwined. • Personality need fulfilment: Subas and Rati fulfil each other's emotional and psychological needs through their relationship, finding comfort and happiness in each other's company. Shedding Light on Their Relationship: This chapter sheds light on Subas and Rati's relationship by illustrating the complexity and depth of their emotional connection. Through the theories of love, we understand that their relationship is characterized by intimacy, passion, and a growing commitment. Their interactions reflect elements of romantic love (Eros), friendship-based love (Storge), and a progression through stages of emotional disclosure and mutual dependency as described by Reiss's theory. Overall, Subas and Rati's relationship exemplifies a blend of emotional intimacy, romantic passion, and mutual support, highlighting the multidimensional nature of love as described by various theories in the chapter. Their story illustrates how these theoretical frameworks can help us analyse and appreciate the dynamics of relationships in different contexts and stages of development. Test Bank for Exploring Marriages and Families Karen T. Seccombe 9780205915194, 9780134708201, 9780133807776
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